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DISCLAIMER -- I am the most hated and feared comedian in America, if you happen to be a right winger. There are three people who have protective orders against me that make it illegal for me to even THINK their NAMES, that's how scared they are. Imagine how pants-moistening SCARY I would be if I were not suffering from Stage IV Parkinson's disease and could actually get out of a chair without assistance, drive a car, lift my arms above my head, or walk without my trusty rolly-walker. Still, my WORDS scare these people... a codger in Maryland who is looking for more reasons to drag me into court although that would be the biggest mistake of his misbegotten life, his pet toad in Palatine, IL who envies the backbone of his adult child with spina bifida, a basement-dwelling bottom feeder who lives with Mommy in Racine, Wisconsin, and a couple of right wing morons who quiver in fear at the mention of my name, causing them to lie in their application for a restraining order.

Again. I can not go outside without help from my wife. And these people are scared of me to the point of lying under oath.

Listen. You'll hear just why that is.

BY THE WAY? Every single word, picture, original musical note -- ALL OF IT -- is © 2014 by William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr. And you won't just be fighting me.

MEMBER: BMI, SOUNDEXCHANGE, SOCAN (Pending)

ALBUMS AND SINGLES DISTRIBUTED BY: DistroKid, CDBaby, TuneCore, Loudr.

I May Not Be Any Good, But I'm Persistent

Newest Album, Get it Here, First! 

This is an album born of an error. I originally recorded "It's All In My Head," believing that the guitar backing tracks I had purchased was using the same definition of the word "performance" as that used by BMI. They were not. So, I did not have permission to use the music,

So, back up. Punt. Write my own music. Start again. With the exception of five cuts from the exceptional Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), these are all entirely original creations, thrown together on Garage Band.

Go to the music page and… Read more

Doing MY Part to Help the Hoges and Krendlers of the world. 

Hoge is grunting about charging me with violation of a peace order for providing a link to him, which is one of the things he sued me for not doing earlier this year. Grady Krendler is just off his medication, and his nut. Maybe this will make them feel better. It’s from my album “Nuts […]

I Really Can’t Make This Shit Up. 

Hoge is now threatening to reinstate his copyright lawsuit against me for screencapping the “Jabba the Hutt” image he screencapped from Aaron Walker’s Twitter account. This image. Now, unless Mr. Hoge is claiming a copyright to the words “Buffalo Channels Tatntooine” or the metadata, including my name, I’m afraid he’s just gonna have to go […]

Is Grady Krendler Actually BOASTING About Being Chicken Shit? 

That is really the only scenario I can come up with. Patrick Grady/Paul Krendler is so shit-pantsed FRIGHTENED of me that he has a DOOM CLOCK on his TMZ blog counting down to the day when he will get his protective order. Here’s what Patrick Grady Krendler needs protection from. Yep. I’m fuckin’ deadly. I […]

Is This Shit Really Necessary, Boys? 

And here I had such hopes that now that I am not bothering anyone I might just be left alone. But no. Seems like once a week or so Aaron Walker has to make some sort of “fat joke” about me. Because I’m so fat. So very fat. Fatter than anything. Well, not as fat […]

New Feature on the Website 

If you have any interest at all in purchasing any of my comedy CDs, and you don’t feel like messing around with Amazon or iTunes or any of those corporate monsters, feel free to check out the “Shop” page on this blog and get some nifty stuff direct from the artist at a huge discount. […]

Weight, eating habits in Parkinson’s disease 

A review of the scientific literature on Parkinson’s disease shows that even the non-motor symptoms associated with the disease can contribute to the changes in body weight seen in patients (including those subjected to deep brain stimulation). Among the factors affecting eating habits and body weight there could be, for …read more Source:: Parkinson’s Disease […]

Two New Audiobooks Hitting the Marketplace 

Production has been completed on David Winograd’s splendid reading of my book, “I Killed Osama (and that Hussein Fella, Too!)”. As ACX puts the files through the audio review process — which can take up to 10 business days — as soon as they are satisfied with the quality of the sound files the book […]

Breakthrough in understanding Parkinson’s disease 

The Parkin protein functions to repair or destroy damaged nerve cells, depending on the degree to which they are damaged, scientists have learned. People living with Parkinson’s disease often have a mutated form of the Parkin gene, which may explain why damaged, dysfunctional nerve cells accumulate. …read more Source:: Parkinson’s Disease Research
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